RedRavenPoems

I get all wrapped up in my head.
Filled with black thoughts, ones of being dead.
But I struggle, determined to live instead.

I hear so many words in my mind.
None would be pleasant. Like chains, they bind.
Don’t take a look, You will not like what you find.

Trash, Worthless, and Useless are there.
You’ll never be enough, Screw you, I don’t care.
Your good for nothing, why even try? I wish you’d just die.

Not the nicest words to hear.
I wish in truth I could forget them, my dear.
Bottle them up high on a shelf. At long last free myself.

I heard so much, now I feel they are true.
They stay with me still, Oh what can I do?
They make my heart heavy. Leave me feeling Blue.

I wish I had walked back then.
before it all really began.
When I had the will. When I was not a broken man.

Instead, I gave in for peace of mind.
A foolish hope. That giving would make it all fine.
But I found hell, which was not at all divine.

I waited too late, I had no escape.
No one to help, to care for my fate.
No friends at all, no family to call.
She drove them all away and gave nothing at all.

I shake my head and push away these thoughts.
Keep back the pain they bring.
But at night the dreams come, filled with shame.

Hair yanked back, till it’s ripped out.
Forced onto knees as she screams and shouts.
Is there any help? None I now doubt.

Pinned half asleep, by her murderous rage.
Half dazed, half-crazed, a mouse in a cage.
All for watching TV, Numbed by the pain.

A knife at my throat.
panic sets in, yet so does hope.
as a wheeze leaves me, my throat now choked.

Slammed to a wall.
Chased down the hall.
Forced to be tame, held by fear in thrall.
For a little peace, even false love, I gave it all.

Games of sadistic nature were at play
Both physical and mental they came every day.
My sanity fled, terror held sway.

Dark thoughts consumed me, if only I’d had the nerve
I’d have been gone, it’s what I deserved
But really, what good would have been served?

A prisoner I stayed
for such a long time.
misery had me in its hell-powered bind.
Yet I smiled and claimed all was fine.